“in an truly weird time of covid-19 pandemic”

random thoughts on June 20, 2020

“in a truly weird time of covid-19 pandemic”

I’ve been at home for nearly 3 months due to the pandemic

I live in an apartment.. and there’s just the two of us, me and my husband

It feels strangely calming and refreshing...

Not having to do small talks at the office

Not having to fake a smile at the office

Being given a total freedom to be “quiet”

(because in the office it’s like u’re being punished every day for being too quiet)

It feels strangely calming and refreshing..

and I complain less

a lot less

and I become calmer

I thought I was gonna be very bored

I thought I was gonna be restless..

Because I can’t do my favorite thing which is traveling

I can’t go visit the museums and the malls and all those instagrammable cafes

Turns out that I can control the boredom

And feel fine that I’m not able to go out

Even now when people are screaming new normal and suddenly storming the malls

and go to the streets to exercise (for a trending healthy lifestyle) and buy bicycles to bike to work or to bike wherever 

while the number of covid-19 cases is still increasing.

I’m still at home

Not feeling the urge to go to the malls

Or meet up with friends

I’m an introvert

And I’m figuring out that my life at the office used to drain my energy so much it hurts

All the pretending.. all the “have to speak up and be seen”... being forced to attend all those social events... talk to people when I don’t want to... smile to people when I don’t feel like smiling..

That’s why I’ve always needed that “traveling” or “trips” or "weekend getaways" every other week

Now that I’m always at home, I feel so much at peace

But 

it does make me wonder..

Will I have enough strength to go back to the office when the time comes?