don't belong

............. 

..........u have to prepare your perfect fake face

and u try so hard to wear it whenever u think u need to (which is most of the time)

u take a deep breath

and u wear that face

and u take another deep breath 

..........u try so hard

not to be u

but to be someone else

..........u resent it so much

too much

until one time.. your heart actually aches

and u start to question why

..........your heart aches

u resent it

but u must do it

..........coz u’re a nobody

..........u must say yes to everything

even the most absurd things

even the most stupid things

u must say yes... and obey

coz u’re a nobody

..........and even when u’re done obeying everything

u’ll still be

a nobody

..........well,

once upon a time, I felt that I don’t belong here

coz I don’t like to pretend to be someone that I’m not

coz I don’t like to pretend to feel what I don’t feel

coz I don’t like to smile when I don’t feel like smiling

..........once upon a time, I felt that I don’t belong here

..........10 years and a few months later

..........I still feel 
..........that I don’t belong



*written on one cloudy day on March 2017